Balls to the Wall(paper)

High on Pinterest and low on skill, I ordered this beautiful peel and stick wallpaper nearly a year ago. I asked my boyfriend at the time to help me do it, but he said that he didn't feel like it( key words "at the time". REMEMBER LADIES, YOUR HUSBAND WOULD DO IT OR HIRE SOMEONE TO DO IT). My father was locked in on opening his new restaurant, so he didn't come himself to help, but he sent me $150 to hire a Task Rabbit. I did consider using the money for a Task Rabbit, but I also really wanted these gorgeous Tony Bianco mules...So,I used the money for the mules and watched some YouTube videos. How hard could it be?

It was very hard because I am 5 foot 3. Even on my step ladder, I couldn't quite reach the top of the wall. I did the best I could though. Though I fell off of the ladder, ripped a few pieces trying to smooth them, and couldn't make the tops and bottoms line up; I did it. How? Because I am relentless. It only took me three hours to cover the whole wall in the paper. It was crooked. There were bubbles in it. It peeled up every time I showered, but I'd done it all on my own. It was an eyesore, but because I'd worked so hard on it, I refused to take it down.

Today, in a fit of hysteria, I removed it from my walls. I felt its glare as I defecated. Like the old man's eye in "The Tell Tale Heart" it maddened me. I could hear the wallpaper taunting me, heckling me about my refusal to admit defeat. Reminding me that my relentlessness has not always served me well. That it sometimes leads to hideously done wallpaper that I refuse to take down. That it made me stay in 3 relationships for far too long because I couldn't admit I'd chosen wrong. I killed that wall paper, I rose from the porcelain pony, bideted, dried, washed my hands, then attacked the wallpaper. It was very difficult to take down! Jesus Christ it was hard. Though half of it was peeling off, the other half was secured to the wall as though it were the plaster itself. I had to scrape it off. I broke a nail. But I did it.

I then marched down to Benjamin Moore and got a new paint. I couldn't quite get myself to put it on though. I wasn't ready.

My wallpaper half removed